I need to be constantly entertained or I fall asleep.  I only like going out to bars if a. there is a band (preferably of the bluegrass jam band variety), b. there is going to be some sort of game playing (like shuffle board, air hockey, or Galactica), or c. there is some cheeseball theme to the bar that keeps me thoroughly amused.

Speaking of cheeseball themes…  During my last trip back to the motherland (Wisconsin), my brother and sister-in-law took me out on the town in America’s beer capitol, Milwaukee, WI.  After dinner at my favorite Irish pub outside of Ireland (not like I have ever been there), the County Clare, we visited a certain alleyway off of Water Street and entered an establishment with the store front “International Exports, Ltd.”

Once inside, we were asked a password, which we obviously didn’t know and then were required to tap dance (like we were in a Broadway show) for X amount of time before we were led through a secret passageway and into the bar.  Once inside, I wondered why everyone was staring at us and pointing and laughing but then I quickly realized that our performance was broadcasted live to everyone in the bar.

The Safe House's Inner Sanctuary

We sat down at the bar to review our top-secret papers and ordered a round of “007’s” before heading off to explore the intricacies of the Safe House.  I would hate to disclose any of the fascinating spy-type happenings in the bar and spoil your visit, should you happen to stumble upon this spy haven.

The Mission Impossible

After surviving the Burt Reynolds Temptation Test we decided that we were ready to tackle the Mission Impossible, a highly secret 60 oz concoction of rum and more rum.  Our mission was successful and in doing so we received the respect of the highest-ranking agents and thus were privied to some highly classified information.

The Safe House has been intriguing guests since 1966 and although its exact location is kept secret, it is the go to place for tourists and Milwaukee locals alike.

View my Trazzler trip about the Safe House – Indulging Your Inner Secret Agent and help me escape to San Francisco.  All you need to do is vote for the trip by creating a Trazzler account (or easily syncing with facebook) and then clicking ‘SAVE’ right below the photo.  You can only vote once and need to do so be the end of March.  The prize is a 6-day trip to San Francisco.

You know you’re from Wisconsin if…

Excerpted from Small Town Wisconsin

The Fonz - Milwaukee, WI

Carhartts - Fleet Farm, Oshkosh, WI

Drinks as Big as Your Head - The Mission Impossible, Milwaukee, WI

Crazy Ass Bars - The Safe House, Milwaukee, WI

Pyramids -11 degrees F, Boulder Junction, WI

Beef Sticks in Bloody Marys - Smileys, Wakefield, MI

Excessive Amounts of Meat - The Roxy, Oshkosh, WI

And More Meat - http://www.flickr.com/photos/chadwho1ders/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

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Home - Oshkosh, WI