I was extremely weary after a long day of driving and sightseeing in the desert and found myself in Tonopah, Nevada – still six-hours away from my home in Salt Lake City.  I found a parking spot in town to crash in back of Roo.  It was only 7pm, but I was wiped.  I tried to sleep but I just didn’t feel safe.  The parking lot said free parking for truckers and RVs but I felt totally sketched.

I got back into the driver seat to look for a better option.  I thought about continuing on and finding some place to crash along the way but I was just too damn tired and then I saw a sign for an Economy Inn.

The View Outside My Motel Room - Tonopah, NV

I asked to see the room and it looked alright so I paid in cash – $30.  The room I had been given a key for looked nothing like the room I had been shown.  The deadbolt didn’t lock and the windows opened from the outside.  I checked under the bed for dead hookers and took a quick shower while scenes from Psycho played through my head.  Footsteps outside my room at 3am made my heart rate soar and I was out of there by 5:30.

I would have been better off crashing in my car.

Not to long ago I left my comfortable existence for a magazine internship in super expensive Colorado mountain town.  To save money, I planned on dirtbagging it and camping as long as I could manage.  After only a few nights, rain, lightening, and marble sized hail balls chased me inside and into the Glenwood Springs Hostel.

The Lazy Lizard Hostel - Moab, UT

Why are hostels so damn creepy in the US, but so freaking cool everywhere else?  Is it because I am usually too enamored with the fact that I am in a foreign country and oblivious to comfort and basic hygiene?  Rather I was thinking about my cozy bed a mere six-hour drive away and wondering what the hell I had been thinking to give up all that.

“Oh dude what is that?” I listened as the hostel employees tried to identify the matchbox car sized bug that made its way across the carpet before I crawled into bed with the hostel supplied linens (you weren’t allowed to use your own sleeping bag or blankets for fear of bed bugs, lice, and the like).  I began to itch as I drifted off to sleep as the transient in the bunk next to mine mumbled about the devil and fought out loud with the demons in her mind.

Why hadn’t I just spent one more night in the car?

Speaking of matchbox car sized bugs; last night as I tried to fall asleep I heard some strange sounds coming from Frank’s cage.  She’s been super high energy lately so I thought maybe she was just being her annoying self and playing in her food.  I turned on the light and saw her peering with fright at the bottom of her cage.

Roaches.  Big F-ing roaches everywhere.  Horror movie roaches.  I screamed.

The bugs were literally crawling out of the woodwork.  Chris raged the war as Frank and I huddled together frozen with fear.  One more roach and we were out of there.  Chris grabbed his pants off the floor, put them on, and a roach crawled out.  I shook out the bedding, grabbed some pillows, put Frank safely in the kitchen, and we made a run for the Volkswagen parked out in the street.

We found solace in a car.

For those concerned, I don’t live in a shit hole. Roach problem is now hopefully under control. Some pipe work had been done and they sprayed for bugs, which made them flee the walls.  Attracted by birdseed, the roaches found haven in Frank’s cage.

My desert road tripping travels and dirt road obsession has gotten me into a lot of almost troubles. After a serious close one the other day (#1) I’ve decided to step up my desert travel safety measures. Here are 10 things I wouldn’t recommend doing when road trippin’ through desert land.

1. Enter unfamiliar desert territory with a quarter tank of gas.

2. Fail to adequately cork the only bottle of wine on super rocky dirt road.

3. Assume that just because the map says that there is a town there that there is an actual town there.

4. Rely solely on your google map directions print out and leave the map at home.

5. Rely solely on your memory and leave the map at home.

6. Put off fixing that slow leak on your front right tire.

7. Forget to lock your Space Cadet.

8. Carry beer as your only means of hydration.

9. Believe that the sign “Roads may be impassable due to storms” must not pertain to this road.

10. Believe that there has to be services somewhere 50-miles after passing a sign declaring “No Services next 98 miles.”

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.
~Edward Abbey

One of the first places I wanted to visit after ending up in Salt Lake City (for reasons still unbeknownst to me) was the Great Salt Lake.  Obviously I knew that the lake was salty but I had imagined it as this big recreation area with beaches and lots of people floating about – a place I planned on spending much of the summer.  In truth, it was absolutely disgusting, sort of cesspool like.  The lake was covered with a thick layer of flies, smelled worse then rotten eggs, and there was garbage everywhere.  No way was I going to lay in a foot in that cesspit.

I blamed my misguided fantasies on Utah Tourism brochures – The lakes turquoise waters and white sand beaches are popular with swimmers and sunbathers – MY ASS!

Let’s just says it as it is – the lake is polluted as hell due to industrial runoff and when the waters are low the smell of insect decay makes you want to hurl.  All those strange looking evaporation ponds at the edge of the lake and loads of mineral extracting machinery – make the Great Salt Lake look like some creeped out version of Mars when viewed from above during landing at the SLC airport.

The Great Salt Lake has been raped, pillaged, polluted and essentially forgotten in the eyes of the average Utah and in that I have learned to love it.

The Salt Lake’s high salinity makes it uninhabitable except for a few species of brine shrimp (aka sea monkeys) and algae but the shores of the lake are a critical habitat for migratory birds.  The shores of the Salt Lake were once home to Pink Floyd, a Chilean flamingo that escaped from the Salt Lake City’s Tracy Aviary in 1990.  Pink Floyd was often seen socializing with all the other gulls and dining off brine shrimp.  Floyd appeared so content and happy at the lake they decided not to capture him.  He was last sighted somewhere in Idaho in 2005.

Anyway… I wanted to share some photos of the lake I have grown to love.  This winter while the trails of Salt Lake’s Wasatch Mountains were packed with snow and mud I took to the trails of the Great Salt Lake’s Islands where there is always plenty of sun, beauty and dry trail.

Views of the Great Salt Lake from Split Rock Trail on Antelope Island

Running the Great Salt Lake's Stansbury Island Trail

Buffalo Sightings on Antelope Island

Sunset at Stansbury Island's Lake Viewpoint

I need to be constantly entertained or I fall asleep.  I only like going out to bars if a. there is a band (preferably of the bluegrass jam band variety), b. there is going to be some sort of game playing (like shuffle board, air hockey, or Galactica), or c. there is some cheeseball theme to the bar that keeps me thoroughly amused.

Speaking of cheeseball themes…  During my last trip back to the motherland (Wisconsin), my brother and sister-in-law took me out on the town in America’s beer capitol, Milwaukee, WI.  After dinner at my favorite Irish pub outside of Ireland (not like I have ever been there), the County Clare, we visited a certain alleyway off of Water Street and entered an establishment with the store front “International Exports, Ltd.”

Once inside, we were asked a password, which we obviously didn’t know and then were required to tap dance (like we were in a Broadway show) for X amount of time before we were led through a secret passageway and into the bar.  Once inside, I wondered why everyone was staring at us and pointing and laughing but then I quickly realized that our performance was broadcasted live to everyone in the bar.

The Safe House's Inner Sanctuary

We sat down at the bar to review our top-secret papers and ordered a round of “007’s” before heading off to explore the intricacies of the Safe House.  I would hate to disclose any of the fascinating spy-type happenings in the bar and spoil your visit, should you happen to stumble upon this spy haven.

The Mission Impossible

After surviving the Burt Reynolds Temptation Test we decided that we were ready to tackle the Mission Impossible, a highly secret 60 oz concoction of rum and more rum.  Our mission was successful and in doing so we received the respect of the highest-ranking agents and thus were privied to some highly classified information.

The Safe House has been intriguing guests since 1966 and although its exact location is kept secret, it is the go to place for tourists and Milwaukee locals alike.

View my Trazzler trip about the Safe House – Indulging Your Inner Secret Agent and help me escape to San Francisco.  All you need to do is vote for the trip by creating a Trazzler account (or easily syncing with facebook) and then clicking ‘SAVE’ right below the photo.  You can only vote once and need to do so be the end of March.  The prize is a 6-day trip to San Francisco.

At this point I feel like I do more planning than stuff.  I should have included a category for my blog, “On Writing”, “On the Road”, “On Living”, and “On Planning.” But with the calendar rolling over to March (Birthday Month!), recent 50-degree temps in Salt Lake, and the reappearance of my ole flip-flops has gotten me utterly stoked for the coming months where all this planning is going to be turning into some serious action.

This winter has been pretty chill – a trip home to Wisconsin and trips to Montana and Colorado.  I’ve mostly spent the last few months building up my cash stash, embracing local “travel”  (which, I will touch on soon), and planning, planning, planning.  I have also gotten my Nordic skis out on a lot of trail, been training for my first ultramarathon (#4 on my life list and just 4 weeks away – yikes), and spending a bit of time at the climbing gym where the pull-up still alludes me (#16 on the life list).

I do find it funny how these last few months of writing away and dabbling in location independent work – I’ve been pretty much stagnant.  Well soon that is all about to change…

Joshua Trees in the Mojave

April – Nevada/California Desert Trip

In early April I am heading to Joshua Tree National Park to meet up with some fellow Matadorians, JoAnna and Abbie.  I am then going to head to the Mojave Preserve, the ghost town of Rhyolite near Death Valley, meet up with some peeps in Bishop CA, and then hit up a bunch of hot springs and strange desert oddities in my beloved Nevada.

April-May – Somewhere Else

I am toying with the idea of using my frequent flyer miles for a few weeks in Guatemala this spring but can’t yet decided if I should maybe save them for a big Argentina/Chile trip in the fall.  I also need to make it home (Wisconsin) sometime this spring…

May – New Mexico Trip

Work my way down to New Mexico through the deserts of Southern Utah and Southwestern Colorado to attend a meditation retreat in Chaco Canyon.

June–July – Hawaii

My BF’s friend lives on Hilo and is getting married June 26, so we decided to make a huge trip out of it.  We will spend four weeks touring the Big Island and Kauai hopefully scoring a permit for the Na Pali Coast Trail.

The Na Pali Coast - Photo: Pandora_60

July-August – Lander

Free Camping at Lander City Park

Call me crazy that I am more stoked for a month in small town Wyoming than I am for Hawaii, but Lander – I can hardly wait.  In a piece I wrote for Matador Trips, I called Lander the “dirtbag friendliest city in the Western U.S.”  It has been my absolute dream to set up camp in Lander for more than just a weekend – I have been mapping out our camp spot in my head all winter.  We will spend the days climbing at Wild Iris and Sinks Canyon, possibly take a backpack trip into the Wind Rivers, and spend some quality time at the Lander Bar.  The idea of the stars (yet again) as the roof over my head makes me so totally stoked.

From Lander, we will stop by the Tetons for a re-match with Teewinot before returning home to Salt Lake City with an empty wallet and plenty of uncertainty.

Hiking Down Teewinot After a Failed Summit

What are your plans for the spring and summer?

After keeping myself thoroughly entertained for nearly 9 hours in my car this past Monday, I thought I would share some of my road tripping entertainment secrets. I actually look forward to some solo time in the car – I can sing as loud as I want without my boyfriends berating “are you really going to do this all the way to…” I can catch up on all my fave podcasts, and even practice my French.

Here are some ways I keep occupied when hitting the road for long distances:

1. Podcasts

Podcasts have quite simply revolutionized the way I feel about long distance driving. I do not have the attention span for entire book on tape but little snippets and stories – love it! My absolute favorite is This American Life, for those not familiar it is a radio program on NPR that features essays, memoirs, short fiction, and journalistic inquires based on a weekly theme. Subscribe to This American Life on iTunes and get a free one every week.

Dirt Roads - Somewhere, Utah

Some of my other favorite podcasts include Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know. For the meditation and/or spiritual aficionado there is a ton of quality podcasts. Although I don’t recommend meditating while driving, the teachings of Tara Brach or A Quite Mind are a wonderful listen and can inspire a bit of reflection during those hours on the road.

2. iPod Dipping

Ask the iPod a question, hit shuffle, and receive wisdom. I asked my iPod for a new theme song for 2010, got a little Tea Leaf Green, The Garden Part 3, and I like it.

“Darlin’ let’s let our hair grow long
We can work on a farm, maybe live on a mountain.
I got an old hound dog, likes to run,
He needs a lot of room and he hates to be chained up.
Just like me, just like we are supposed to be.”

You can ask the iPod anything… Where should I travel to next? Where is my relationship headed? Should I quit my job? What should I be when I grow up? And with a little interpretation get the answer that you need delivered directly from the iPod.

3. The Library

Before departing on your trip, visit the library and check out some language CDs, a book or two on tape, and some obscure CDs that you would not normally listen to. This is your time to learn the basic words of a new language or sample songs from a genre outside your comfort area.

4. Pit Stops, Detours and Scenic Routes

Stave off boredom by changing up your route or making a few stops at sights along the way. Browse guidebooks or sites like Trazzler to find some obscure sights on your travel path. I loathe interstates so on the current trip I took quite a detour and spent an hour on my favorite hiking trail in Moab before catching back up with the interstate via the Colorado River Scenic Byway.

A Recent Detour Via the Poison Spider Trail, Moab, Utah

5. Catch Up with Friends and Family

Illegal in some states and highly unsafe according to some, I use some of that time on the road to catch up on the phone with the grandmas or friends I haven’t talked with in months. This may be an easier feat in the West, since in some place you don’t need to turn the wheel for hours and the only obstacles you need worry about is sagebrush and the occasional free range cow.

America's Loneliest Road - Hwy 50 Through Nevada

6. Road Rituals

Rituals are comforting and can give you something to look forward to on long trips. I always play a particular song when leaving town on a big trip and I have my favorite coffee shops along the way. Any trip through Nevada requires a stop on the state line and a dollar in a slot and that chance to pay for the trip with one pull on the slot.

7. Learn the Words to Crazy Ridiculous Songs

If you are horribly bored with hours yet to drive, I recommend trying to learn the words to such songs as Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire, REM’s End of The World, or personal favorite, Johnny Cash’s I’ve Been Everywhere.

If these suggestions don’t cure your road weary, I don’t know what will. How else might you keep yourself awake and entertained on the road?

It is no coincidence that the ultimate event in self-expression, Burning Man, occurs every August in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada. Whether it is ancient rock art, massive earth work pieces (Michael Heizer’s work) or mind-tripping burning playa works – Nevada and the rest of the West are breeding ground for artistic expression.

In The Void, the Grid & the Sign, William L Fox takes the reader on a remarkable journey through the dramatic void of the Great Basin making sense of the landscape through art, architecture, and history.  Fox advocates the need for such voids, “big empty spaces into which we can travel in order to see ourselves.”  The desert is important because it is absent of everything we are accustomed to – grass, trees, signs, buildings, city lights, landmarks… The desert severely disturbs our perceptions, makes us uncomfortable, and challenges our habits and comforts of mind.  And when we return home, we view things differently.

Chillin' Somewhere on the Utah-Nevada Border

“In a sense, by virtue or its unadorned surface and the subsequent scope of our vision, the desert acts as an indicator region for the rest of the planet… It’s precisely the vision we need in order to calculate truly our effects on the planet before we spoil it to the point of our own extinction, if we haven’t yet done so,” Fox says so eloquently in the book.

After spending weeks in the Mojave Desert and Death Valley a few years ago, I drove through Las Vegas on my way to the Grand Canyon.  I stopped at Whole Foods to stock up on groceries and wandered aimlessly through that store looking to dazed and confused – a total crazy case – that 3 employees asked me if I was ok.  I was so utterly overwhelmed by the aisles and aisles of packaged goods and excess and all that unnatural fluorescent lighting that I honestly couldn’t function.

The Sun Tunnels

I returned to my car empty handed realizing I could make do with what I had.  It was totally like that scene in the movie Into the Wild, where Alexander Supertramp ends up in LA after spending all that time drifting on the Colorado – feeling so totally overstimulated and disconnected from body and space and so small and so alone on this Earth.

And for this experience, one more reason I love the West.

Art may just be the way to forge a human relationship with the desert – a chance to have our perceptions altered and hopefully leading us to reexamine the way we view the rest of our world.

Other ‘Why I Love the West’ posts:

Why I Love the West: Amazing Natural Hot Springs

Today I am introducing a new series entitled “Why I Love the West”.

The American West is the ultimate destination for extreme budget travelers.  Besides the cost of a car and fuel, you can learn to scrape by on practically nothing with free camp spots and plenty of no cost sights to keep you entertained such as hot springs, hiking trails, super strange desert art, and loads of bizarre-o geology.  Not too mention some relatively low cost sights like national parks, small town diners that serve up a cheap yet mean breakfast, and happy hours at western bars that feature ridiculously large, cheap drinks, and a cast of eccentric regulars.

The Poolside Bar at Norris Hot Springs

I am totally obsessed with natural hot springs.  Utah, Colorado, Montana, Idaho, Nevada, and Eastern California are geothermally active gold mines for naturally occurring hot water springs.  Plus the peculiarities of the west usually manifest themselves well at these springs.  Visiting any hot springs in the west comes with two warnings – make sure you test the temperature before entering the spring (temps can be too hot sometimes and boil your foot right off) and be prepared to see any number of bizarre happenings (naked old people, hippies engaged in energy work, and ancient healing rituals).

Lowers Pools at Fifth Water Springs Utah

The Upper Pool at Fifth Water Hot Springs

My favorite hot springs are those found near rivers.  The moving water keeps the springs clean and you get the option of dipping in the cool water when you get too hot. The river is usually damned off by rocks to create little pools and in some cases pools are built into the bank of the river with rocks and cement.  My absolute favorite hot spring is located about 50 miles south of Salt Lake City – Fifth Water Springs. A 2.5-mile hike takes you to a series of hot springs with a gorgeous waterfall backdrop.

Beware the stagnant pool, many springs are simply holes in the ground with water piped in from the source – such as South Canyon Hot Springs Colorado.  Conditions often times vary in these springs and are dependent on the amount of work put in by the unofficial springs caretaker.  Nevada and eastern California have a ton of these types of pools and some are amazing and some are darn right disgusting.

South Canyon Hot Springs in Colorado

I spent the last weekend in Montana and found the cutest little commercial hot spring just west of Bozeman. Norris Hot Springs was super clean, the perfect temperature for winter soaking, only $5 to enter, and had a poolside bar offering up a good selection of microbrews, local wines, and even mimosas.  The hot spring also has live folk, bluegrass, and Americana music every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night.

Enjoying Mimosas Poolside at Norris Hot Springs

Check out Soak for some information about hot springs found all over the west.  It is not the most user friendly website but it will help you locate springs all over the US and then you can scour the web for more detailed information.

Penny Hot Springs Near Carbondale, Colorado

You know you’re from Wisconsin if…

Excerpted from Small Town Wisconsin

The Fonz - Milwaukee, WI

Carhartts - Fleet Farm, Oshkosh, WI

Drinks as Big as Your Head - The Mission Impossible, Milwaukee, WI

Crazy Ass Bars - The Safe House, Milwaukee, WI

Pyramids -11 degrees F, Boulder Junction, WI

Beef Sticks in Bloody Marys - Smileys, Wakefield, MI

Excessive Amounts of Meat - The Roxy, Oshkosh, WI

And More Meat - http://www.flickr.com/photos/chadwho1ders/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Family

Home - Oshkosh, WI